I tried locking you off. I really did and I am still trying to figure out a way to succeed. However, all my attempts remain futile.
I know this is the right thing. I know what I have to do, I am doing it for everyone’s sake but for mine. I have even adopted a new set of mind, keep moving without stopping at all and everything will be fine. It is not fine. I am running from it, I am avoiding it, but it is still there looking at me in the face and saying with a bitter tone of sarcasm” Are you done yet?”. I answer with a low tone” I am not done, you are!” and I keep moving. I hope I find a way to lock it far away for good. In fact, I say with a poorly timed grin on my face “You always find a way to elude me, seldom do you leave me, and how frequently you pop up in my head. You were always the sweetest when I gave you my full attention. when I indulged and fully immersed myself in you. However, when I did not give you the attention you desired, you kept popping up; claiming what you wanted in a blunt manner till I give up my attention and my time to you”.
Now, you may not be here with me, my mind might be playing these tricks instead, mimicking what we shared. All is an illusion I suppose, a devious trick of the mind. None the less, I still do enjoy it as if it were real. I know it is not, I do not wish it into being, but I do enjoy it.